Mondays are NOT for Wimps

Since I work retail, I don't usually have weekends off, so I never have the 'OMG, it's Monday' feelings like most of the working class.  I prefer it that way - I hardly ever have one day of the week that I dread.

That all ended today.  Once a month, the Mouse graciously insists I take a weekend off.  This past weekend was my designated pretend-you-are-like-everyone-else-and-be-off-work-Saturday and Sunday.  That was all fine and good until this morning.

I should have know I was in trouble when Sunday night I lay in bed willing myself to sleep.  Seriously - when has that EVER worked?  The clock marched along it's assigned path... 1am, 2am,3am.  I know it clicked off because I got the pleasure of watching each of those hours make an appearance all the while mentally adding up how many hours of sleep I would get if I could just fall asleep right NOW.  Didn't work.

I NEVER work Monday mornings. It's a company rule that my boss open every Monday, so I didn't worry too much about the time until abruptly realizing in the wee hours of the dawn that I did in fact have the opening shift today.  You know that feeling when you realize that you are going to be late before you are even awake enough to get out of bed?  Yeah, me too.

Racing down the Sawgrass Expwy sent my breakfast bowl with the tiny droplets of leftover soy milk sliding off the seat and under my feet.   While I was scrambling to move the bowl to keep it from lodging under the brake pedal, the guy behind me decides his horrible weekend was apparently all my fault. He comes flying around me, cuts me off and slows to within a foot of my bumper. Nice!  Seriously - do you feel better now, lardhead?

Get to work only to find that I have 2 surprise guests waiting for me outside the store - so much for 'hey, it's only 10 minutes. No one will care.' Now I have created Monday chaos for 2 innocent bystanders.

I boot up our 4 register computer system only to see the "blue screen of death" appear on each one - not once, not twice but yes, lucky three.   On the phone with our IT department who is apparently having a Monday morning of their own didn't make the morning any brighter.  I could go on but it just goes downhill from here and hey, who wants to hear that?  Suffice it to say,  Monday just lived up to it's reputation.

My boss, who was trying to enjoy a very much deserved day off, made the mistake of calling to check-in.  He got my entire Monday tirade - good thing he is such a great guy.  I did, however, beg him that if he has just one single drop of compassion in his body, to please, please never inflict another Monday morning on me.  Seriously!!